I have a feeling you’re one of those people I’m going to miss most when I leave. You always seem to come around randomly when I’m feeling a little bit down or when I need to someone to talk to. I don’t know you as much as I do everyone else, but I always admire how you have the ability to make anyone’s day. You’re just naturally sweet. Over these four years, I always wished that people would be more like you. I really do, because this world needs more kind people like you. I’m really going to miss you homie and your random acts of kindness. You can leave, but you always choose to stay. You really do make my day, and you help me forget about the bad stuff for awhile. For that, I am eternally grateful for having you in my life.
She never wanted your dick, never will want your dick.
Just saying. You left a pretty bad impression. Get over yourself. Stop worrying about her life and start focusing on your own. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING OMG. Dude, be a better person. Maybe then you wouldn’t be so disgusted at the good things in life.
As I think of what to write,
I repeatedly write false statements with a huge urge to say that I don’t even know more than half you people, and as for most of the rest, I don’t even associate myself with. I wish I was truly able to say that I love my class, but that would be a total lie.
Then I think of all the good memories with the few people that I do care about and how much I’ll miss them. I would like to thank you for accepting me as I am, nothing more, nothing less. Thanks for putting up with me and all my complications. I don’t think I would’ve mentally survived these few years without some of you who remained close to me. How am I ever going to make it through next year?
As I sit here thinking,
I’m forcing myself to accept that this isn’t going to change. I’ve been forcing something that won’t happen. Three months ago, I talked to a friend. I didn’t understand why he made the decision he did. I just wonder why things had to be so complicated all the time. Now I understand why, and I understand how he feels. Yeah, it hurts like a billion invisible knives stabbing at your chest, but some people are just better off without you in their life. That’s reality, and that’s the truth.
Can I just go back to this relay? The best relay ever. The best team ever. I miss you guys :/ May 14, 2010.
I don’t understand why you’re sad.
At least all is not lost. At least you still have him. Who cares about labels. You don’t need to put a label on it. Be grateful that you still have him in your life, be grateful that he just didn’t walk out of your life forever. Be grateful that he continues to support you that’s why this decision had to be made. He’ll still be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. Nothing has changed, it’s just the label. If I were you, I would feel very lucky. I don’t think you understand. Girl, just be thankful.
It happened for a reason.
It’s almost the end of the year. What’s the point of holding onto a knot that’s been tying me down this whole year? I learned the hard way. Listening to a recent story opened my eyes. I’m moving soon. I desperately need a fresh start. There’s a reason why this connection had to break… even though it constantly kills me inside. I’m not going to lie, it still does. I still think about it when I’m alone, and all I feel are tears beginning to form. But I try my best to stop myself, and I try my best to focus on what’s in front of me. It just sucks knowing that you won’t be there, but I know you don’t want to be. I’ll forever miss you and hate you. It’s time to undo this knot. I need to end it and begin again. If only you’ll give me that closure.
To Do List after graduation:
- Deactivate Facebook
- Delete old text messages
- Store away this laptop with all pics included
- Donate a bunch of clothes
- Gain the strength to start over and just live
- Break all ties that keeps me coming back
- Become independent
"There’s always hope. Never give up hope."
-Thanks Ms. Waugh for showing us a depressing video in the morning.Deanna: I would! But I can't.
Me: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TRY CANE'S CHICKEN.
Deanna: WHAT'S THAT?!?!
Me: IT'S A BOX FULL OF DELICIOUSNESS.
Deanna: Chocolate?!
Me: OMG DOES CHICKEN SHOULD LIKE CHOCOLATE TO YOU?! LOL.
Life is supposed to be simple not complicated.
But why are some of us still stressed and sad? Why do we always feel like we’re not good enough because there’s always someone who’s better? Why do we torture ourselves with depressing music that just makes us want to cry? Why do we get angry over stupid things and regret them later because we just lost a friend? Finally, you realized that you disappointed them for the last time, and you have a hard time forgiving yourself because of it. You took advantage of them because you know they always forgave you before. You appreciated what you had, but you never thought they’ll officially leave. Why is this pain still here? It’s supposed to be long gone. I have this desire to escape. I want to escape far away from all this nonsense, and leave my unfinished business the way it is even if it constantly drains my energy day by day. I want to leave my worries behind. I want to start over, and go somewhere where nobody knows my name. But I also have this desire to restore myself and restore friendships before I leave. Why must things be this way? Why am I not stronger? I just wish you were still here. I really need a shoulder to lean on. Because I swear to God, I’ve never been so sorry than I am right now. I wish I was a better person towards you. Time is running out. Now there’s nothing more I can do. I should just stop hiding my thoughts.
Do things that will make you happy, do things that will make you happy, do things that will make you happy. Don’t let it get to you, don’t let it get to you, don’t let it get to you. You’ll be alright, you’ll be alright, you’ll be alright. Be happy, be happy, be happy.
When was the last time I felt like this?
Two years ago… Exactly two years ago. & now, that feeling comes back. I love how I can’t stop smiling and how I feel like jumping up & down constantly. I love how I suddenly have so much confidence to say hi to everyone without hesitation. I love how I finally have the motivation to actually understand what’s going on in class. I just feel really happy… like all the negative things are finally behind me. Weights have been lifted off my shoulders, I got something off my chest, and now I can move on with a smile on my face. I JUST FEEL SO EXCITED ABOUT EVERYTHING. ALJDLKJFLA.
